Deceptology – @Shyyyla

Why I Am Not Famous On Twitter…..Not To Mention How You Can Be……. Observing tweets fly off about being ” Twitter Famous” has made me feel some kinda way about the way I tweet, let alone others ASSUMPTIONS about my @ Cliche definition- Twitter Famous Not actually famous. Twitter person: Omg I have like 3000…

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How can you be loyal to someone that doesn’t belong to you? – By: @Shyyyyla

Now I know the answer to that question may seem bare, but everything really isn’t what it seems. I have always had a major issue with this topic, feeling that if I myself display loyalty that it will prove I am a good woman but it always, ALWAYS comes back to bite me in the ass. Yeah I know I’m single giving advice blah blah blah but experience breeds knowledge and ya never know who needs it

F*^K an unverified, unsubstantiated, non-committal-ass SITUATION-ship, and understand that a man who TRULY cares about you will COURT you, and see that you are SO OFFICIAL, he NEEDS to make you OFFICIALLY his. - My bestfriend, 10 years into her marriage

Nothing whatsoever can validate the quote above but is it nothing short of the truth. Too many times I have been the “Fallback Girl” …you know….gave him a soft landing out of his old life and helped him avoid whatever feelings he had about his previous relationship.

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Relationship Land – By: @Shyyyyla

Being in a relationship is like a full time job; don’t apply if you’re not ready.

What’s Real-Most women want a relationship but, the curious thing is, we do a lot of things that keep us out of relationship land.

I’ve been reflecting on some of the do-do head dummy decisions I’ve made [and my friends are making] re: my relationships.

And.

 Wanna hear those top 3 things?…hear it goes.

1. Fake Exclusivity: Being exclusive with someone that’s not exclusive with you

We girls become exclusive with dudes we’re only just ‘dating’ too early.  Our tendency to place every single one of our eggs into one basket rarely ever turns out well.   Perhaps we women have been acculturated to believe that its unnatural to, at the very minimum, entertain more than one option.

You have no idea how many times, I’ve heard the refrain, “but, I can only date one man at a time.”  Or, “it just doesn’t feel right dating more than one person.”    I swear though, I’ve never heard a man such such a thing.

It’s silly to NOT keep your options open while ‘just dating’ a man.  It’s even sillier because, obviously, he’s keeping his options open.  If he wasn’t keeping his options open, y’all would be really real exclusive, and not fake exclusive.

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The “What? you want a cookie” Mentality – By: @Shyyyyla

Not so much on some “Independent woman, don’t need a man”, more like I got mine, you get yours and lets compliment each other

 The definition of independent: Not relying on others for support, care, or funds; self-supporting 

What’s Real-  Me:”I can handle my own”  Him: “Ummm, who cares?”.. I AM GUILTY….but Im learning.  Accustomed to always handling things on my own, I am one to never ask for help…with anything and scream INDEPENDENT subconsciously.  My prides like the “third person” that rears its ugly head time and time again..I’m pretty sure a previous ex felt like I didn’t need him. When ever he offered to help me financially, give advice, offer to buy gifts. I’d shut him down….ouch rejection.

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Relationship Land P.2 – By: @Shyyyyla

3)   Making a Secondary Dude a Primary option

I’ve majored in this type of man.

I’ve loved to make dudes that should only be relegated to ‘fun’ and secondary status to my primary option.  This is unfortunate considering a lot of relationship dilemmas could be thwarted if we/I stopped trying to make a secondary type of guy, the number one dude.  The truth is, certain guys should only be their momma’s #1 man!

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Picture It: Ways to Know Your In The Right Relationship P.2 – By: @Shyyyyla

13. Lose Yourself

This is easier said than done, especially when the relationship is going really well. As tempting as it is to never leave the house (maybe never leave the bed), you keep doing the work, exercise, volunteering, socializing, networking, and daughtering you were doing before. Remember, these things made you the person Your Person fell in love with. They’re part of you. Don’t give them up for anyone. You can’t afford it.

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Picture It: Ways to Know Your In The Right Relationship P.1 – By: @Shyyyyla

Picture it: You’re dating someone new. You’re waiting to feel the toxic stagnant codependency. Where is it? Months go by. Still nothing. At some point a corner of your brain dares register the thought: Could this be one of those? Could I actually be happy?

To help you answer that question, you lucky thing, here’s a completely unscientific list of 31 ways to know you’re in the right relationship:

You don’t…

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